Singularity as Eschatology: Is AGI a Technical Possibility or Millennial Prophecy?

The Singularity is structurally identical to every prior end-times prophecy. Kurzweil’s 86% self-reported accuracy falls to ~50% under independent audit. Expert AGI predictions perpetually cluster 15-25 years out regardless of when made (the imminent Parousia). Bostrom’s Simulation Theory maps 1:1 onto Gnostic cosmology. AI labs function as competing churches (Sutskever effigy burning at OpenAI). BST says AGI is mathematically impossible (Gödel + AI degrading from training on its own output + Hard Problem). But the prophecy’s game-theoretic function — unlimited fundraising, labor displacement justification, surveillance permission — operates regardless of truth value. The centralized power structure does not need AGI to succeed; it needs the BELIEF in AGI. Falsification: if genuine recursive self-improvement (not benchmark gaming) emerges by 2029, the eschatological diagnosis is wrong.